if you want to be happy in your life, you need to know, how to stop overthinking Everything. but sadly! most people don’t know how to stop overthinking things.
what is overthinking?
simply thinking too much! when you think about anything too much it becomes overthinking.
one thing you should know, thinking itself is not a problem. thinking about the wrong things is a problem.
if your thinking is based on reality, and not on people’s perception, you won’t have trouble. when your mind is clear you accept the reality rather then what people think.
but if you have made some set of beliefs about yourself, regardless of whatever is reality, then you are trapped.
for example, if someone told you, you are too ugly! what would you do? what would be your reaction?
at this moment if you don’t know yourself, you will believe in what the other guy is saying. you will accept what people say about you, you will embrace that you don’t look good, and you will start overthinking and worrying.
but if you are a person who accepts reality, you will look into the mirror, and see that there is nothing wrong. you look fine! that guy who thought you don’t look good, well, that’s only his perception, it’s not important to be true.
what causes overthinking?
your past activities or future plan can cause overthinking to you. when you do something embarrassing or remembering an event that hurts you in some way, and you feel emotionally attached to it, you start to think too much of that.
and also worrying about your future can cause overthinking. when you are so much into the future, and forget about the current moment, you will fall into the overthinking area.
for example, if your boss roared at you in front of others, how will you feel? you will feel ashamed right! and you won’t forget this for a long time. ( past experience)
another example is students. they think too much about their future. what if I didn’t pass the exams? will I get a job after completing my degree?
how do I know if I am overthinking?
first, you should know the difference between thinking and overthinking.
when you think about the problem itself, and never coming up with solutions, you are overthinking.
and if you think of a problem, because you want the solution, and you have control over it, you are just thinking. which is not bad at all.
Amy Morison, in her Forbes article, says if you have these symptoms you are overthinking.
- thinking about things you have no control over.
- always reminding your mistakes.
- thinking about what people say
if you are trapped in a situation, where you always ask yourself, what if ? should I? then it’s time to remove this habit. because you are doing overthinking, which is not good!
why I always overthink?
Regina-lee Dowdan the author of, Purpose: The Meaning of Life Through Art, History, Science, and Nature talks about overthinking.
she said overthinking is fear, it is a kind of experience that we don’t want to repeat again because it is painful.
for example, if someone cheats on you, it would be a very painful moment for you, so because you don’t want it to be repeated, you keep on thinking about that moment.
how to stop overthinking everything?
when we overthink, we always remind the negative aspects of our lives, and that’s why it should be stoped.
we listen to that inner voice which tells us what is wrong with our life. so instead of focusing on wrongs, we need to focus on the rights. let’s understand how can we reduce that inner voice and stop overthinking things.
here are 8 ways to stop overthinking and relax.
1) be aware of your thoughts
if you are an overthinker, you may not be aware of your thoughts, you don’t know it, what your thoughts are, and do they mean?
read also : focus on yourself not others
and that’s why you can’t stop overthinking because you haven’t passed the first stage of overcoming your thoughts.
to analyze your thoughts, when you are stuck inside your head when you know you are overthinking, write them. this way you will get a better understanding of, which thoughts control your mind.
you just can’t write each thought in your mind, because on average we think 70,000 thoughts a day. these thoughts are normal and don’t cause you to panic.
so what you can do? well, just focus on the thoughts which are causing you stress, which you can’t get of your head, which is related to your problem.
for example, if you have low self-esteem issues, you will encounter such thoughts as, I am a loser, I don’t look good, I don’t have good friends, no one loves me.
write these thoughts and go to the next step.
2) don’t stop your thoughts
you are trying to stop the thoughts, that pop up in your head because they are so overwhelming. you can’t sleep at night because of the excessive amount of thoughts you are getting in your head.
what if I tell you don’t stop them? would you agree with me?
let’s understand with an example.
- don’t think about the dark side of your life( take 1 min)
- please don’t think if
- you don’t want to think about the dark side of your life, okay
what were you doing? weren’t you exactly thinking about the dark side of your life? ( of course, you were)
so why does it happen? when you try not to focus on something, to stop a specific thought, it becomes more difficult to get your head out of it.
because our mind does not stop, it keeps on producing thoughts, it’s called the default mode network.
so what should you do?
brain rose suggests that you need to change your thoughts, to stop overthinking things. instead of stopping them divert your thoughts to something else or change the words.
when you have written your thoughts in step 1, now change,
- I am a loser, to, what can I do to be more productive?
- no one loves me, to, I have a supportive family that loves me.
don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution. the problem itself is not a problem, it’s your mind that creates new problems from existing ones, so stop your mind from creating more problems, and find the solutions.
Nolen-Hoeksema( professor yale university) says, “ Rephrase the issue to reflect the positive outcome you’re looking for “.
because it changes your mind to focus on positive things. which is the best way to stop overthinking everything.
3)feed your mind with the right information
Albert hobohm in his TEDx talk explains the importance of the right kind of information.
he talks about the news channels, and how they affect our minds with their catchy titles. when you always hear about deaths, raps, and the blasts, it negatively affects your mind.
also, he talks about social media, ” the more you use social media, the more you become isolated”.
you become addicted to social media, and using social media a lot causes depression. it’s obvious depressed people do overthink, they can’t stop their thoughts.
so catch the right information to stop overthinking things.
4) meditate to stop overthinking
meditation has serious effects on health and mind, it calms down your mind and let the negative thoughts go away.
in meditation, your goal is to catch your thoughts, in which direction they are going. when you are meditating, you focus on your breaths, and when you are distracted, you have to bring your thought back to it.
meditation is one of the best ways to stop overthinking because here you learn how to control your mind, you know exactly where your thoughts are going.
what is overthinking? it’s thinking about things that are not present now. either some experience of the past or fear of the future.
what medication does is, it allows you to focus on the current moment, the more you focus on the current moment, the easier it will be to stop overthinking things.
so take a deep break, and know what your thoughts are?
when you practice meditation, it will be difficult for the first few days, but after some practice, you will be able to do it effectively.
after you practice meditation for some days, you will feel a change, you will feel it easy to focus on yourself and not to overthink. that’s because when you meditate, there are more connections formed inside your mind and new neuropathways are created.
I am myself a big fan of meditation, whenever I feel stressed, or when notice that I am overthinking things, I leave everything that I am doing and start doing meditation. it really helps me to stop overthinking everything!
5) distract yourself from overthinking
distract yourself from overthinking by doing things you never did. do something unusual, because that will give you new feelings which you never felt before.
when you do something new, you will feel happy and forget about your thinking. it will be temporary but still better than nothing.
things that you can try,
- take a meditation class
- attend any motivational seminar
- go to a football stadium
all I mean is to try new things, and see what happens to your thought. do you engage in that activity if yes? then take it as a hobby and repeat it, it will help you be happy and stop overthinking everything.
read also : how to overcome depression
6) accept the reality
one of the biggest reason people overthink is, they don’t accept the reality.
because you have made the face of reality so scary, it’s just your thoughts, you think that if it becomes true, I won’t be able to live my life happily.
for example, if you have lost your crush! and she doesn’t want to contact you anymore.
now you start thinking, someday she will return, she will come back. these kinds of thoughts are not gonna help you, instead, it’s gonna feel worse with time.
on the other hand, if you accept the reality, and face it, okay she has gone, I can’t get her back. so what can I do now? then you will realize that you should move on and live your life.
accepting reality sometimes keeps the burden away from you, and you feel happy.
read also : how to be happy( scientifically proven ways)
try not to exaggerate things, life goes on what so ever! so please move on and stop overthinking and worrying.
7) take it easy
remember the words It’s OK That You’re Not OK.
grieves are the part of our lives, they come and go, you can’t live a life without grief. so why don’t you live with them as you live naturally?
sometimes you just can’t be happy, whatever you do, how ever you do, you are not gonna be happy in some moments of your life.
so instead of always thinking about your problems, why am I overthinking, it’s so disgusting, I want to get rid of it, I want to stop overthinking everything for all my life.
take it easy, calm down, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, it’s not a bad thing. sometimes you have to go through these situations, it’s the part of our nature.
don’t be too much focused on happiness, and removing your worries.
because it will make you feel even worse, you won’t be able to enjoy your life, too much seriousness doesn’t lead to good results.
8) stop overthinking and worrying
many times we are so much busy working for the future, and worrying about the future, that we don’t have time for ourselves to enjoy a little.
we are busy making money, so that we can have a good future, without realizing the importance of our health.
and then we spend the same money on our health when we get older.
dale Carnegie mentions in his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, about a woman who was deaf, and dumb but still very happy, and didn’t overthink at all.
but dale Carnegie, who was rich and famous but still not happy, and was overthinking everything. then he realized that, if I don’t stop worrying, I won’t be happy, no matter how much richer I am.
he recommends in his book, to remind yourself all of the blessings that you have, write those things which you are happy for.
this will help you to see the positive side of your life and to stop overthinking and worrying.
stop overthinking everything ( final words)
overthinking is very common these days in people because people are exposed to social media, we know about the lives of others more than our own.
you might be overthinking because of a bad experience of something, which is stuck in your mind.
and now you want to remove that thought, that memory, you want to vanish it.
one thing you don’t know, you can never remove memories from your mind. and why you want to do that? if you remove memories from your mind, then what’s left?
we humans are memories, without memories we are nothing, so remember you can’t eliminate a certain memory from your mind.
so what you can do? well, just live with it, and try to change your thoughts, replace them with new ones, as I told you earlier, don’t panic because of a memory, tell yourself that it’s ok, and move on.
when people want to stop overthinking, oftentimes they make blunders, and then they ask why can’t i stop overthinking things.
one of these blunders is trying to stop thoughts, it’s just impossible.
imagine it, if people were able to stop their thinkings, what would happen? would there be any scientists, doctors, engineers?
NOPS, so that’s why you don’t need to stop thinking.
there is a difference between thinking and overthinking.
if you have control over something, and you can make changes, you should think about it, because it’s just our nature, that’s what we are living for.
and if we can’t make changes, then we need to change our minds, instead of changing the whole world, this is where you start overthinking.
so don’t worry about things, because worrying won’t make it happen.
stop overthinking everything, right now! right at the moment. do it!
so what you are gonna do, to stop overthinking things, tell us in the comment section.