How to Focus on Yourself and not Others? in 7 Easy Ways

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ok, so you just google about, how to focus on yourself and not others? because you are having a hard time to focus on yourself.

let me tell you what’s wrong with you, You have surrounded yourself with distractions without realizing them.

stephen covey quote about focus

how can you focus on yourself? when you have built an environment, where your focus is shattered! firstly you should clear all the distractions, which I am going to tell you in a while.

but remember, focusing on yourself is easier then you might think it’s not difficult.

let’s understand a few things first.

What does it mean to focus on yourself and not others?

most of the time focusing on yourself mean, to not think too much about your relationships, your ex, your breakup. it is about to love yourself and be happy.

for example, if you are an introvert, you enjoy being alone, you don’t like to hang out with people, then you should take time alone.

focusing on yourself means being real, every one of us is different in one or another way,  you should enjoy being different.

Why you should focus on yourself and not others?

focus on yourself not others

when you focus on yourself, you start to love yourself, your productivity goes up.

when I started focusing on myself, I realized that I deserve to live a better life. why don’t I do something that I love? and that’s is why I started my blogging career.

when you take time for yourself, you realize the opportunities. you start to work on your goals and forget about other people and relationships.

how can I focus on myself and not others?

it’s always possible to concentrate on your life, no matter whatever background you have! so here I am going to share the best possible tips to change your life for the better.

1) set your priorities

how to focus

if you have too many priorities, you have no pritiority at All.

if you focus on too many things, you will not do anything better. you will have to clarify what is important to you.

when you decide your priorities, you know exactly what should I do, and what’s important! this will free your mind thinking about unnecessary things.

remember focus goes where clarity shows. so if you know what is more important, you have prioritized your things, you will find it easy to do that thing.

I have set priorities for myself, but before when I did not have priorities I always thought about impressing people.

it was my job! that how can I impress someone? I could not get this thinking out of my mind. this was because I had,

  • no priorities
  • no specific goals

then I started to think, OK, where the heck I am going? what is my goal? isn’t there anything more important than just thinking about people.

that was the time when I created a list of goals. I made a list, what will I do, at which time? this made it clear to me, that what I wanted to do, what was more important?

now my mind is so focused only on my goals, not on what people have to say about me.

why too many priorities suck

focus one thing

we always want to see progress in our lives, but what happens when everything seems so important? we don’t make any progress at all, and this becomes so overwhelming!

at first, I had too many priorities, I was a student of computer science but at the same time, I was a blogger! both were important, so I decided to pay more attention to blogging.

well, I knew my grades are going to drop, but I didn’t have any other option, I had to sacrifice one of the things.

setting my priorities allowed me to focus on one thing only, and this helped to produce better results and be satisfied.

set your priorities according to your needs,  CATHERINE BEARD  explains how you can do it.

2) practice self-love

focus on yourself

self-love means to truly love yourself, to accept your weakness and strengths.

Every one of us is either good at something and bad something, self-love means to accept your self in a way, that if you make blunders you remain kind to yourself, you can forgive yourself.

you can’t control everything, but what you can control is your mind.

so when you start to practice self-love, you get better control of your mind, you focus on yourself more.

Studies show when you love yourself, your self-esteem goes high, and as a result, your mental health becomes better.

there are many ways to practice self-love, but something that I like is,

self-affirmation means to repeat yourself a positive sentence time and again every day so that you remain positive.

with self-affirmation you can achieve whatever you want, let’s say you want to be happy, then you will have to repeat these,

  • I am happy.
  • I love myself.
  • I care for myself.

so is it magic, and how it works? well, it’s not magic, it works because when we repeat to ourselves something, again and again, our subconscious mind starts to believe it.

when you say I am happy, you might not be happy at the moment, but when you repeat, you will see a change in yourself. and it works.

we always want to feel loved, because this makes us feel happy and special, you can use self-affirmation for this purpose.

self-affirmation is especially useful when your relationship is not going well, or when you have breakup with someone, repeating yourself positive affirmations will make you feel better.

practice self-love and you will be able to focus on yourself easily.

3) limit the use of social media

effects of social media

the average internet user spends about 2 hours and 22 minutes on social media, source

this shows, how much we are into social media, social media has some serious effects on our mind.

the reason you should avoid social media is it creates depression.

why? what happens when you use social media? You are exposed to pictures of happy people, there exists no picture on social media, where someone is not happy.

so people are just showing their best moments of life on social media, like going out with friends, enjoying holidays, living a better life. which is not the part of daily life.

Chris Baily in his TEDx talk explains about, how quitting social media changed his life? he used to spend all his day on social media, and when he reduced that time to 30 minutes a day, he became more creative and successful in his life.

if you want to focus on yourself no on others, you need to quit social media! or at least put a limit to its use. because when you are using social media, you are just peeking into other’s life.

so what’s the point, why you want to know what somebody is doing? will it benefit you of some kind? no Never!  but still, you are putting your precious time into useless things.

why we use social media?

why we use social media

why we use social media? it’s because when we love something, our mind releases a chemical called dopamine. which is responsible for our happiness.

so when we open Facebook, our mind releases dopamine chemicals we feel better! we get so much addicted to this dopamine, that we can’t live without it( happily).

so when you want to work, you feel so bored, because your mind needs the same sensation which was released when you opened Facebook. that’s why you can’t focus on yourself, and keep on scrolling Facebook.

because you are addicted to social media so much, that you become almost depressed! you don’t want to do something, nothing excites you.

so, as a result, you are not able to focus on yourself, instead, you just peek into other’s life.

4) Decide me time

a girl sitting alone inside occean

spending time alone has serious effects on our mind, we focus better when we are alone.

when you spend time alone you know yourself better, you deeply understand who you are? and how you are unique?

an article in Forbes, claims that spending alone time creates empathy in people. when we spend too much time in our office, or in any group, we form the mentality of ” me vs them”.  we start to hate people when we spend too much time with them.

so when you decide alone time, you will naturally love all those people. it will create empathy in your heart for them, so you won’t have to think about them a lot.

solitude will help you live a better life

people who spend time alone, can plan their life better, why? because they understand themselves better, what they are good at, and what they are bad at! they are good at building relationships.

so if you want to focus on yourself, not others,  you need to have a me-time, where you just focus on yourself, to know yourself better, to understand yourself.

5) Don’t compare yourself with othersshowing 2 different entities

There is always someone better than you, and someone worse than you. what does it mean? it means one thing, you are unique, you don’t have any comparison in this world.

comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt

so don’t compare yourself to others, because there is no point in, comparing yourself to others, you are what you are! and you just don’t have any comparison in this world.

why do we compare ourselves to others?

why we compare ourselves

we compare ourselves because we want to judge, how we are doing in our life? we want to feel better of ourselves, and when we compare ourselves. two things happen, better or worse!

when you think ok, I am better than this guy or girl, you feel happy! your confidence, your self-esteem goes up, you start to feel better of yourself.

on the flip side, if you find that person better then you, you feel down, you feel jealous, right?

the problem is that you don’t see what you have good in yourself,  you just wanna know, how I am better than others? and this leads you to think about others, with our realizing, the beauty of your life.

how to stop comparing yourself to others

stop comparing to focus on yoruself

every one of us compares ourselves to others differently, for example, if you are a housewife, you might think, my best friend’s husband is far better then mine! or if you are a student, you might be jealous of your friend, who scores better then you.

the first thing to remember is you never know anything behind the scenes! you never know if a person is really happy or just showing off? we humans like to show off often, we are fake, we don’t want anyone to know about our dark sides.

the second thing is, instead of getting jealous, be a better version of yourself, if your friend is doing better at school, why can’t you? use it as a motivation factor.

dr Susan has a very good talk about, how to stop comparing yourself, have a look at it.

6) try new things

sketch of a man

hopefully am not that bad at sketching.

when you try new things, you are focused more on yourself not on your ex! if I am right?

well, trying new things make you busy, you don’t get time to think about people, you become more creative, and especially your life doesn’t feel boring.

when I am free I try to do something new, drawing, learning backflips, handstand, I mean anything that comes into my mind, I do it. well, I know I am not good at these things, but when I do even a little better, I feel like, WOW! I did it.

how does it work?

Harvard research says that when we try new things, our mind changes. that is because new pathways are created in our mind, and we become more efficient and think creatively.

so to focus on yourself, you need to change your mind first, that could be done by trying new things.

new things to try

7) celebrate your success

celebrate your success

the more you praise and celebrate your life,

the more there is in life to celebrate – Oprah Winfrey

many times we are too much focused on what we have to do, without thinking about, how far we have come, and how we accomplished all those things.

there are reasons you should celebrate your tiny little success, because this will keep you motivated, and happy. and if you don’t realize your accomplishments, you will feel overwhelmed with your life, you need a reason to be happy.

for example, when I think of my blogging journey this way.

ok, so I have just started blogging, and it’s going to take a long time to do better, I will have to sacrifice my time completely, easily I feel demotivated and unsatisfied.

on the other hand when I realize, ok I started something that I was thinking for a very long time, I am doing something which I love, and especially I am going to be a professional blogger.  this increases my motivation to keep on posting and improving myself.

celebrating your success allows you to focus on yourself only, you don’t think of others life, you feel better.


if you want to focus on yourself and not on, your relationship, your breakup, your ex, or whatever that is.

then you should make yourself busy enough. have a list of goals, set your priorities, know what you want from your life, especially do something that you love, you just can’t have money goals.

I personally, started focusing on my self better, when I left using social media! because this is something that drives your attention towards un-necessary things.

and also, never forget to take some time alone daily, because this will remind you, who you really are? and what to focus on.

so that’ it, 

what do you think is a better approach to focus on yourself and not others?

tell us in the comment section.


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